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2 Responses to “Hello world!”

  1. Mr WordPress Says:

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  2. prolotherapy and past friendships anew Says:

    my first blog post. i’ve thought that i ought to do this for some time now; i just have a problem lighting a fire under my ass to do it! i think there’s an element of fear about blogging/journaling/etc because it makes my thoughts problems real. i’ve been told for years that i should journal (so goofy that ‘journal’ is now a verb as well as a noun).

    so where to start? i feel like i should have started blogging years ago just so i could have a record of all of the feelings i’ve had related to my health and emotions and possibly publish all of it in the future. seems kind of vain, i know, but i do really believe that people would be interested in my story. maybe someone would be able to take something away from it all.

    i live a crazy life. if someone else were to tell me the story of what i’ve survived, it would truly blow my mind. because i live it, i don’t know…maybe it’s too much for me to even grasp the gravity of the whole deal.

    i’ll tell the whole deal over time. maybe someone else can give me some perspective on the whole thing. i hope so.

    it was an insane weekend for me, but it a really, really positive way. it has been such a nice surprise to have a tremendously positve experience related to people in my past. i should start by saying, on friday i saw the pain specialist dr i see regularly, and he did a couple of intense treatments for me. i had some prolotherapy in my lumbar spine and sacroiliac joints. i also had a neuraltherapy treatment called ‘crown of thorns’. you can guess what that involved…i had injections of anaeshtesia into points around the entire circumference of my head. 15-20 injections total.

    what a messed up feeling that was! i was pleasantly surprised at how good i felt afterward. on top of my physical pain, i have a brain injury. for the first time in 5 years, my mind felt truly clear. i felt like the old me. i’d forgotten what it felt like to have a clear mind and be pain free. the freedom from pain didn’t last, but man-oh-man, it was nice. i still feel relatively good, compared to what i felt like friday morning. who knows how long it will last.

    on saturday, i met up with an old friend that i haven’t spent time with in over 10 years. she was once a friend to me that i spent literally every waking and free moment i had. we were young girls, we had fun together all the time, and we connected. then, we both changed. we got boyfriends, we started to look at the world differently. it was a shame. a true shame. maybe now though, we have come back into each other’s lives because of changes we’ve both made, experience we’ve both had…who knows.

    there was a time when i was really angry at the loss of that friendship. i held resentment. i laid blame. after yesterday, i’ve had some thoughts change. i’ve had impressions and perspectives change. it’s really weird to me how my perspective has shifted in coming face to face with her. she said it, i felt it it’s like we never skipped a beat. i’m so hopeful that we can build a friendship again that is as meaningful to me as ours once was. we’re not 15 any more, and i understand that. both of us, it seems, have lived numerous lifetimes in the years it’s been since we were friends, so hopefully we can build something new.

    it’s been a long, long time since i felt hopeful. there’s been a lot that has left me feeling hopeless. to have the possibility of having a friendship return to me, in such a timely manner, is incredible.

    i was thinking my blogging career was going to start with doom and gloom. maybe i see brightness on the horizon…

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